Some things seem like a good idea at the time, and some things don’t seem like a good idea at the time but you still do them for some reason.
Dog food that time when I was a kid
My friend told me it tasted like bread and I like bread.
Dog food that time when I was an adult
I like bread.
Deep dish pizza
That is an inside joke between me and the people of Chicago.
A Malort shot out of a Tostitos scoop
That is an inside joke between me and the people of that party.
A bug on accident
It was an accident.
A bug on purpose
It was a trend.
All the times I’ve accidentally eaten a piece of burrito wrapper while eating a burrito
In a desperation to get as much burrito into my body as quickly as possible I guess.
All the times I used a paper towel to soak up the grease on a piece of pizza and then ate that paper towel
The grease is the best part.
Reader Discretion: The Throw Up Section
Some things seem like a good idea at the time, and some things make you vomit.
That cheese quesadilla that gave me food poisoning
A forgettable quesadilla but a weekend of puking I’ll remember forever.
The Dunkin avocado toast I ate on the way to a drug test for a new job
That I then threw up in a parking lot after realizing it had poppyseeds on it (I mean it might as well have been heroin syringe toast).
The Throw Up Section is over
Oh wait I forgot about the time I got fries from Wendy’s before seeing The Polar Express in iMax at the Science Museum with my family and I had to leave during the elves part to puke
Okay NOW the throw up section is over.
Moonshine pickles
I thought that liking picklebacks and liking pickle spears soaked in whiskey would be the same thing but actually the best part about a pickleback is that you don’t have to spend half an hour eating it.
The summer I got really into Bud Light Lime
Surprisingly not part of the Throw Up Section.
Pepperoni pizza this one time even though I am a vegetarian
I actually did not regret that one.
Chick-fil-A Chicken Minis this one time even though I am a vegetarian
“Dill Pickle Cotton Candy and Other Things I Wish Had Eaten MORE of”
This spoiled tofu that made my apartment smell like cat food when I was baking it but I still ate a little out of denial
I don’t think I want to be a vegetarian anymore.
The year in high school I almost exclusively ate Special K because the box promised it would help me lose weight
A somehow more concerning stage than the Bud Light Lime summer.
Dill pickle cotton candy when I took a second bite for some reason
Definitely in the “don’t seem like a good idea at the time but you still do them for some reason” category.
Leggy Blonde 