I’ve finally created a merch store filled with stuff related to me and my blog so you dedicated followers can have something tangible of mine to enjoy when you’re not re-reading my posts and complimenting me about my writing.

The Pizza ‘Stache Section of the Merch Store

In this section, you’ll find items of clothing with my picture on it. What’s on my face, you ask? It’s a pizza crust that I turned into a mustache, because I. Am. A. Comedic. Genius.

Pizza ‘Stache

Look how happy this man to is be wearing my face on his body
Look how sexy this man is to be wearing my face on his body
You can also wear my face to your next baseball game

The Snacks Section of the Merch Store

In this section, you’ll find some snacks that also promote my blog. But I incorporated a few puns to show that I have a fun side.

The Stuff I’m Selling Out of My Own House Section of the Merch Store

In this section, you’ll find stuff I’m selling out of my own house. It all links to my Venmo because I don’t know how to set up an actual store! So just Venmo me if you want it and I’ll get it to you if I like the price you paid me. If I don’t like the price I will just keep it (because, how insulting that you underpaid me) and tell you to try again.

Here’s an Oregon Trail card game I got at my last office Christmas party gift exchange because someone stole my original gift of a salt lamp that I picked out and I ended up with this stupid card game that took me and my brother literally an hour to figure out how to play and we both died like halfway through the game and we didn’t even have fun playing it.

This is a nice globe that you can look at the world on and you can even trek the journey of the Oregon Trail that people took while slowly dying of dumb stuff like “snake bites” and “exhaustion” when you’d rather be getting all calm and centered and stuff next to a salt lamp, the salt lamp that was blatantly and unapologetically stolen from you during your office gift exchange from that guy named Jon who works down the hall from you.

I don’t know why I have this Wii or if it even works but I guarantee even if it’s a box full of a Wii broken into a million tiny pieces it’s more fun than that Oregon Trail card game that I was forced to accept during my office Christmas party gift exchange. I had won that salt lamp fair and square, JON, you had no reason to pry it out of my hands like you did.

This is a nice seashell from the Outer Banks. If you hold it up close to your ear you can hear the ocean, it sounds like the waves of sobs I endured after Jon ripped the salt lamp away from me during the office Christmas gift exchange and replaced with a card game that is really hard to understand and once you finally do you just die anyway so what’s the actual point? Oh, the point is, JON, I should be sitting next to a salt lamp right now instead of hunting for the bison that I won’t even be able to carry back (that’s an Oregon Trail joke).

This is a really nice game called Bananagrams.

Thanks for visiting my merch store! Hope you found something you liked! Please be sure to check back soon for updates!