A Post Dedicated to the Post Dedicated to My T-Shirt

I rarely (never) repost things I’ve written, but I have absolutely nothing to say about St. Patrick’s Day this year.

So I figured I would dig back into the blog I had while backpacking through Europe; back to  the time I went to Ireland and embarrassed myself at the most touristy location in the country, while wearing a shirt I found at Five Below the day before St. Patrick’s Day circa 2015.

Just to make sure everyone knew I was an American experiencing Europe for the first time.

August 5, 2015

A Post Dedicated to My T-Shirt

I found you on a shelf at Five Below, stuffed behind other t-shirts of your kind, unfolded and wrinkled by shoppers that were disinterested by your size or color.

You were manufactured as a St. Patrick’s Day prop, designed to be worn underneath light-up green necklaces and tall green hats with fuzzy orange beards attached to them. But you had one desire, Shirt. It was simple and straightforward, and printed in bold letters across your front. Your words didn’t say “Take Me to a Crowded Beer Festival!” ” Wipe Your Artificially Green-Colored Throw-Up On My Sleeve!” “Throw Me Away On March 18!”

You said that you wanted to “Kiss My Blarney Stone,” and the moment you were mine, I was determined to help you accomplish that mission.

And although I did once put you through many rounds of Guinness and too many Irish car bombs, I also eventually assisted you in fulfilling your destiny.

I tucked you safely into my suitcase before trekking to Europe. You and I flew across the world and once we got to Dublin, we took a three-hour bus ride to Cork, Ireland. We explored the Blarney Castle, sought out hidden passageways and learned about the history of its royal inhabitants. We climbed further and further up the stone staircase until we got to the roof of the castle.

At that point, Shirt, you were revealed from under my jacket (because, let’s face it, I was way too humiliated to be showing you off in the middle of Ireland) and we slowly slid down to kiss the Blarney Stone, the focal point of your only desire.

From this point forward you will either be worn inside out by me or on St. Patrick’s Day by a fun-loving Goodwill shopper, but no matter what, you will forever be blessed by the luck o’ the Irish stone.



The Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services

I haven’t paid for an oil change in almost a decade, and now I think I’m going to have to.

This is a very big deal.

For years, I mean years, I was a regular participant in the Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services. The Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services offers all individuals a free oil change voucher if they donate blood at select Midas of Richmond locations on select days throughout the year.

I love free stuff, and I love donating blood. This blood drive was basically made for me, is what I’m saying.

I used to put the Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services events on my calendar, cancel plans with friends, and call out of work to make sure I could be present for each and every one.

The rate at which I was getting oil changes wasn’t nearly equivalent to the rate at which I was donating blood, and the Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services free oil change vouchers were piling up rapidly.

Which is totally fine, because they’re eligible to redeem for a full year after your original blood donation (or longer than that if you get a pen and change the date yourself).

Now, even though the Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services is a fantastic arrangement, I’m not saying that Midas is the greatest place to get an oil change. In fact, sometimes it’s a very unpleasant experience. In addition to an oil change, the mechanics offer to do a complimentary inspection of your car; which, if you’ve ever been offered a “complimentary inspection,” you know it translates into them finding very minor repairs on your car, and explaining that these repairs need to be done as soon as possible. Like, today. And then they kindly offer to do them for you while you’re here, all they need is one easy payment of like a million dollars.

Last time I was at Midas getting my free oil change from the Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services, the mechanic pulled this number on me, and it’s possible I cut him off snippily and told him I wasn’t interested in hearing it.

In my defense, I never asked them to do a complimentary inspection of my car.

In his defense, he was probably extremely accurate about all of the things he found wrong with it.

In my defense, I went online later and wrote that particular Midas location a very tender-hearted Yelp review. Mostly out of guilt.

Anyway, all this is to say, I’m out of oil change vouchers, and I simply don’t know what to do. Eventually I had to stop donating blood at the Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services for tattoo-related reasons. But I’ve gotten so used to having this service done for free, I just don’t think I can go back to the life of paying for oil changes.

And I’ve just recently hit the 5,000-mile mark – which, yes, I know that technically you don’t have to get your oil changed that often, but my car is on the verge of antique-plate status, plus there’s so many other things wrong with it that getting an oil change every 5,000 miles is the least I can do. Not to mention the oil light flashes at me very quickly every few days. Which, based on the light’s sporadic, unpredictable, and brief nature, is probably more of a wire shortage than anything else.

And yes, it has occurred to me that the light is my car’s way of telling me that this is just its time and that I should just let it die in peace, thank you for asking.

Anyway, if anyone has any ideas as to how I can get a free oil change (by, say, tomorrow morning), please let me know. Otherwise I’ve started a GoFundMe page to give you all a chance to help ensure that I still don’t have to pay for my next oil change.

Another option would be for any of you to go to the next Midas of Richmond Blood Drive with Virginia Blood Services and obtain a voucher for me. The next one is March 31.