Farewell, Crossroads

Well, friends and readers, the day has come. I’ve found a full time job. Which means a whole lot of things, but one of them is that I’ll have to quit my part time job at Crossroads Coffee and Ice Cream.

In all my experience in the service industry, this has easily been the most consistently laidback position I’ve ever worked. I’m going to miss the coworkers, the laughs, and above all, the free coffee. But what I’ll miss more than anything are the regulars.

A 14-year-old coffee shop located in the middle of a neighborhood on a high-traffic road is bound to bring in a lot of regular customers. I would like to take this time to commemorate each of them, but, to protect their privacy from my high profile blog, I’m just going to refer to all of the regulars by their orders instead of their names.


Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with One Egg Patty and a Side of Grape Jelly

I don’t really understand your breakfast preferences but you are the smiliest person I’ve ever met and are the only white person in my current life who calls me “Miss Rachel.”

Large Iced Coffee in a 24-oz Tervis Tumbler with Refill

This time two years ago, if someone had asked me if it was possible for someone to drink that much coffee in the span of 15 minutes, I would have said no. Thank you for showing me that anything is possible.

Large Coffee and a Cinnamon Chip Scone

It’s pronounced “scone.” NOT “SCON.”

Small Coffee with a Fruit and Yogurt Parfait

You’re shy and sweet and smile a lot, and you always insist on buying something you could just make at home. I will miss our brief interactions, many of which consist of me commenting on your scrubs.

Large Nonfat Decaf Latte

What’s the point?

Egg Sandwich on a Croissant with Pesto

Thank you for the weird cartoon you drew me last year, acknowledging how much you enjoyed the sandwich I made.

Pork Rinds

Hey, lady, I saw you sneaking pork rinds into Crossroads every day. And not buying anything. And getting mad at me whenever I ask you not to bring in outside food because it’s a health code violation. I sure am going to miss you. And your crazy eyes. And your bigoted conversations about gay marriage.

Everything Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese and Avocado

It took me forever to realize…

Egg and Cheese Sandwich on Wheat Bread

…that you two were married.

Large Mocha Smoothie with Whip

I’m sincerely sorry that you dislike your job as a teacher so much. I’m sorry that you have a classroom ratio of 30:1. I agree that the education system is really screwed up. I agree that teachers are treated poorly and severely underpaid. But please stop complaining to your baristas. And for gosh sake’s, tip them once in awhile.

Small Iced Mocha

I look forward to the day when I too can retire and spend my afternoons on the patio of a local coffee shop, wearing Hawaiian shirts and drinking cold beverages.

Large Vanilla Chai Smoothie with Whip

I thought you were kind of strange and then I read a local article about you and how you used to fly Black Op helicopters for the army, so now I’m too intimidated to talk to you.

Egg Patty on Gluten Free Bread with a Dry Almond Milk Cappuccino

You are a person that knows what you like, and I have to admire that about you. But please get yourself acquainted with some seasonings. Or some condiments or something.

Southpark Tie Guy

I couldn’t categorize you by your order because you’re wildly inconsistent, but let me just say that your ability to turn any karaoke song into a show tune is something in my life I never thought I would see.


pic

 

Farewell, Crossroads. And an extra special farewell to its regulars. You guys drove me crazy and kept me sane all at the same time.

Or was that the constant over-consumption of caffeine?

Dogsitting

This week, my mother is out of town for some important media trip, and has asked me to dogsit for her.

Which is a task I dread every time I have to do it. And I want to be a good daughter, because she raised me and still supports me and has been there for me when I’ve needed her and blah blah blah. But every time she asks, I cross my fingers for an excuse not to do it because frankly, dogsitting for her is a fate I wouldn’t bestow upon anyone.

 

  • First of all, the best part about housesitting or dogsitting for anyone is raiding their snacks. But everything she has is so gosh darn healthy, I don’t even know what to do with it.

18254248_697683091819_456086053_n

18254617_697683111779_1485620327_n

18279965_697683116769_1144665126_n

18280138_697683126749_266479602_n

18254255_697683121759_2000215188_n

  • In fact, I can barely find any space to put my REAL food.

18308768_697683096809_404048975_n

 

  • Okay, but no big deal. As long as she has coffee, I’ll be fine.

IMG_7617

But…a jigsaw coffeemaker!?!?

18254644_697683031939_453857086_n
But who invented this
18280616_697683061879_686477730_n
Maybe if just shut it really hard
18280821_697683071859_36354156_n
Maybe it just figures it out itself
18279943_697683076849_1523269556_n
Maybe I’m thinking about it too much
18280106_697683081839_14955209_n
Close…
18302515_697683086829_209215540_n
…enough.

 

  • Oh and another thing. My mom has one of those iSmartAlarm alarm systems, so she’s alerted whenever a door or window has been opened. Therefore she knows whenever I get home at night, whenever I get up in the morning, and if I’ve stayed out all night partying without coming back to feed the dogs.

 

IMG_7616

It’s like dogsitting for Big Brother.

 

  • And I can’t even try to get anything done with this face looking at me the entire time.

Thank You for the Birthday Gifts

Just when you all thought you were done hearing about my birthday, you were wrong. There are just a few acknowledgments I need to make before officially moving on to my 29th year. I want to thank the people who helped me celebrate my birthday last week, but in particular, the people who gave me stuff.

Zucchini bread

Thank you, Ben, for bringing me that slice of zucchini bread that your wife made. Tell her it was pretty good.

A birthday voicemail

Thank you, Melissa and Jack from 103.7 Play, for calling me while I was at lunch with my mom and wishing me a happy birthday. I have absolutely no idea how you got my phone number or how you knew that it was my birthday, but it was really nice of you to say something. And it made for a great story that all of my friends enjoyed hearing over and over.

A card with a bunch of money in it

Thank you, Dad, for giving up years ago on trying to buy me something I might like, and switching to straight up cash.

A happy birthday email

Thank you, River Lofts, for not only providing me a place to live for the past three years but also sending me an email with a small birthday cake graphic, acknowledging my special day. That was really above and beyond.

The offer of a free croissant

Thank you, Alex and Greta of Lecker Baking Company for offering me a free birthday croissant, that I do one day intend to redeem.

A bike that I bought for myself

Thank you, Rachel, for buying me that bike. I know I’m really going to get a lot of use out of it. That was super thoughtful and literally, exactly what I wanted.

A gift card to Union Market

Thank you, Sarah, for fueling my already excessive habit of frequenting this Church Hill establishment. I’ll use it wisely (on beer).

A book about going to strangers’ houses and documenting their lives

Thank you, Josh, for the book that you wrapped and brought to me at work. So far it has provided me hour of entertainment.

Tickets to the Book of Mormon

Thank you, James, for combining two of my favorite things: theater and organized religion. Oh and for wrapping the tickets in that box of chocolates that you got as a Christmas gift from your company. I know you didn’t actually intend to give that part to me, but you let me take it anyway. That was really nice.

An iced coffee refill

Thank you, Katelyn from Urban Farmhouse, for refilling my iced coffee for free after I told you it was my birthday, even though technically you were supposed to charge me a dollar. Birthdays are important, coffee is important, and now I consider you important.

Some books

Thank you, Mom, for those books you gave me. I can’t wait to read them.

Oh, and also thank you for giving me life all those years ago, etc.

A virgin Mary candle with Amy Poehler’s face on it

Thank you, Brittany, for always knowing what I need even before I knew I needed it.

A beer

Thank you, everyone who bought me a beer the night of my birthday. I totally forget who the heck did, but gosh I know I appreciated it.

screen-shot-2017-02-08-at-1-33-12-pm

Things I’ve learned from working at a coffee shop

Last October when I returned from Europe, I found a job at a local coffee shop. I’ve worked in the service industry on and off throughout my life, but this is the first coffee shop of my employment history. And I have to admit, it’s one of the most laidback jobs I’ve ever had.

I only say “one of the most laidback jobs I’ve ever had” and not “the most laidback job I’ve ever had” because in high school I worked at a hospital gift shop where I would eat candy for free and occasionally ring someone up for a bouquet of flowers.

But even though it’s easygoing, I don’t mean that it’s easy. There’s always a lot to do, and there are so many things I’ve learned.

  • People are really moody when they are anxious for caffeine
    • Myself included.
  • It’s amazing how many customers get the same thing every time they come
    • I mean is that egg patty on gluten free bread actually tasty enough to eat every day?
  • Blue tape is a vital staple in day to day life
Blue Tape

Or maybe this is just a Crossroads thing?

 

  • People don’t really like making decisions. We have an entire questionnaire for a single sandwich, and by the end, people are exhausted.
    • Do you want your tuna on white, wheat, rye, or ciabatta? Do you want lettuce and tomatoes and onions on it? Do you want mayonnaise? Mustard? Do you want to add cheese? Do you want chips, fruit, cous cous, or coleslaw on the side? Do you want it for here or to go? Are you paying in cash or credit? Who are you voting for in the next election? Where are you going to retire? Do you think there’s an afterlife?
  • New cutting knives are so important that each shift is held accountable for their whereabouts

Knives

 

  • If you wear too much of one type of thing, customers will start to point it out
    • IF I WANTED YOUR FASHION ADVICE ON THE APPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF FLANNEL TO WEAR I WOULD HAVE ASKED, THANKS.
  • I really suck at latte art
Dick Latte

YES I KNOW WHAT THIS LOOKS LIKE. PORNOGRAPHIC LATTE ART IS THE ONLY KIND OF LATTE ART I’M GOOD AT, SO IF YOU EVER DRINK ANYTHING I MAKE, JUST KNOW WHAT YOU’RE IN FOR.

 

  • Having your baby hand me the credit card isn’t nearly as original as you think it is
    • But as long as you politely laugh at my “Oh it’s her treat tonight, huh?” joke, then I will politely pretend that it’s the first time I’ve seen anyone do that.
  • Turkey sandwiches and cold brew coffee are really nice smelling things.
    • …But not when that smell infiltrates your clothes and hair and skin and pores and blood vessels. I set up a biohazard zone in the corner of my bedroom labeled “used work clothes” that I heavily sanitize before wearing again. Or just burn, if I completely give up.