Should I Reinstall My Bangs?

I was bald for the first year of my life.

I went that entire year having to rely on my large eyes, easy smile, and rolls of fat to get people’s attention. I didn’t have the advantage of thick, shiny hair, like many of my associates had, to fall back on.

Every day was a struggle.

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Eventually my hair grew in (blonde, in case anyone was wondering). I went through the “Baby’s First Haircut” photoshoot, and I’m sure somewhere there’s a lock of my hair stuffed into one of those baby scrapbooks that literally no parent has ever completed.

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So as my hair grew and became like a normal child’s, my hairstyle matched those of any young white girl’s in the 90’s: long hair that was usually tangled in hundreds of places, topped with thick bangs sitting straight across my eyebrow line. And if I was lucky, my mom would toilet paper them on special occasions.

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To put it bluntly, I was…well, I was adorable.

Then came third grade. When every girl whose parents had bestowed bangs upon them decided to grow them out. And since I was definitely cool, that’s what I wanted to do too. I asked my parents to buy me clips to help shove them aside during the growing process, and they did.

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By fourth grade, my forehead was the clear, bangs-free forehead I had dreamed of.

I lived the low-ponytail, center-part life every day until middle school.

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Like I said, I was definitely cool.

Then in seventh grade, the bangs fad returned. And since I was definitely cool, my bangs also returned. They were the feathery kind, not as thick as before…and I think they lasted about a month until I realized that they did not look good I was too cool for them.

My hair has gone through a lot of alterations since then, including some highlights, blowouts, bad haircuts, good haircuts, its own recent decision to become curly, and more split ends than I care to even imagine.

And now I’m starting to wonder if the bangs life is for me again.

And that’s where I need your advice.

If you’re thinking, “Well Rachel, how can we give you advice if we don’t know what your hair would look like with bangs?” I have a solution. A solution called the internet.

I’ve replaced my face with some celebrities’ faces, to see what exactly I would look like with bangs. I sat on my couch last night experimenting with all sorts of potential hairstyles, and I’ve set aside the best options for you to look at.

Take your time, sleep on it, don’t feel like you need to answer right away. But here are some accurate depictions of what I could look like with a new ‘do, for your careful consideration.

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Technology these days is amazing.

Anyway, thank you for your contemplation, and I look forward to your feedback.

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Things I’ve learned from working at a coffee shop

Last October when I returned from Europe, I found a job at a local coffee shop. I’ve worked in the service industry on and off throughout my life, but this is the first coffee shop of my employment history. And I have to admit, it’s one of the most laidback jobs I’ve ever had.

I only say “one of the most laidback jobs I’ve ever had” and not “the most laidback job I’ve ever had” because in high school I worked at a hospital gift shop where I would eat candy for free and occasionally ring someone up for a bouquet of flowers.

But even though it’s easygoing, I don’t mean that it’s easy. There’s always a lot to do, and there are so many things I’ve learned.

  • People are really moody when they are anxious for caffeine
    • Myself included.
  • It’s amazing how many customers get the same thing every time they come
    • I mean is that egg patty on gluten free bread actually tasty enough to eat every day?
  • Blue tape is a vital staple in day to day life
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Or maybe this is just a Crossroads thing?

 

  • People don’t really like making decisions. We have an entire questionnaire for a single sandwich, and by the end, people are exhausted.
    • Do you want your tuna on white, wheat, rye, or ciabatta? Do you want lettuce and tomatoes and onions on it? Do you want mayonnaise? Mustard? Do you want to add cheese? Do you want chips, fruit, cous cous, or coleslaw on the side? Do you want it for here or to go? Are you paying in cash or credit? Who are you voting for in the next election? Where are you going to retire? Do you think there’s an afterlife?
  • New cutting knives are so important that each shift is held accountable for their whereabouts

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  • If you wear too much of one type of thing, customers will start to point it out
    • IF I WANTED YOUR FASHION ADVICE ON THE APPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF FLANNEL TO WEAR I WOULD HAVE ASKED, THANKS.
  • I really suck at latte art
Dick Latte

YES I KNOW WHAT THIS LOOKS LIKE. PORNOGRAPHIC LATTE ART IS THE ONLY KIND OF LATTE ART I’M GOOD AT, SO IF YOU EVER DRINK ANYTHING I MAKE, JUST KNOW WHAT YOU’RE IN FOR.

 

  • Having your baby hand me the credit card isn’t nearly as original as you think it is
    • But as long as you politely laugh at my “Oh it’s her treat tonight, huh?” joke, then I will politely pretend that it’s the first time I’ve seen anyone do that.
  • Turkey sandwiches and cold brew coffee are really nice smelling things.
    • …But not when that smell infiltrates your clothes and hair and skin and pores and blood vessels. I set up a biohazard zone in the corner of my bedroom labeled “used work clothes” that I heavily sanitize before wearing again. Or just burn, if I completely give up.