My Highlights of 2019 According to Facebook

Oh boy, what a year 2019 was for me! The highs, the mediums, the lows! The likes, the comments, the shares!

At the end of the year, Facebook was so considerate as to put the greatest events of my 2019 into one convenient slideshow. And since Facebook knows me better than any of my friends or family, or even myself sometimes, I wanted to share their annual roundup with the rest of you.

Please enjoy – I hope everyone else’s year was as riveting as mine!

Okay, here we go, “Rachel’s Year in Review” on the background of some quirky design they got an intern to make.

Facebook: “Rachel, even though this image has been heavily filtered so that your tiny background face is barely recognizable – not to mention the distraction of all those people in front of you wearing funny costumes and silly expressions – we wanted to include this image to remind you that at least once this year you were invited to an event!”

Facebook: “Rachel, congratulations on your graduation! Well, our facial recognition technology thinks that *might* be you in the cap and gown. If it’s not, congratulations on attending a graduation!”

Facebook: “Rachel, this picture is to remind you that, at least once in 2019, you spent time outside.”

This is a picture of me and my mom holding up some sort of writing award that she won. It also demonstrates how bad I am at fake smiling.

Facebook: “Wow, what a 2019! Congratulations on both graduating AND winning some sort of award all in one year!”

Facebook: “We saw something about ‘the best time’ in one of your stories so we KNEW you’d want to relive it.”

Facebook: “We facially recognized a bunch of smiling faces and we also facially recognized a bunch of bare female legs so happy 2019 to you AND to us.”

Facebook: “We see that this is one of those rare occasions that you’re actually at a nice place so we wanted to remind you about it even though you are both wearing black T-shirts and we’re not actually sure why they served you.”

Me: This was part of a Facebook story and that “SEE” made a lot more sense if you saw the whole thing. Or maybe it didn’t, now that I think about it.

Facebook: “Rachel, congratulations on your wedding!”

Facebook: “We are required to use at least nine photos on your ‘Year in Review,’ and since we spaced them out so much in the beginning, we’re just going to include this one that you posted two days ago. Happy 2019!”

Me: I don’t know if this seems quite right but I’m definitely not going to go back and check.

Me: Wait does this mean that one of the people in this picture is the most tagged of all of my friends or that the person who tagged me is the person who tagged me the most this year?

Facebook: “Wait what did you just say?”

Me: I don’t really know.

Facebook: “What do you think of this quirky background design? We’re thinking about hiring that intern on full-time.”

A special thank you to Facebook for documenting my 2019 so accurately! See you next year!

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