Millennial Maxine

We all know Maxine: that crotchety old woman that appears on Hallmark cards, t-shirts, and cocktail napkins spouting out witty grievances on aging, money, womanhood, weight, and being single.

She says things like…


And sometimes…

Oh, Maxine!

But, because I’m a millennial and I need everything revolving around me constantly – including the relatable woes of a cartoon character – I wondered what it would be like if this famed Hallmark icon had millennial problems instead.

Hey, let’s talk a little bit less about hot flashes and a little more about the turmoil of browning avocados. How about we take a break from all that bunion talk and discuss the miserable inconvenience of a cracked phone screen? Sure, arthritis is rough but WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOUR LYFT DRIVER TRIES TO MAKE CONVERSATION?

I present to you: Millennial Maxine.

Photoshop credit: Brian Marsh (no relation) (jk it’s my brother). Check out his website, it’s really pretty great.


  1. […] I started this blog in 2012, so if you’re not my mom and haven’t been reading since Day 1, you’ve got a lot of material to catch up on. And there’s some side-splitting stuff in here, like the time three years ago when I was trying to decide whether or not to get bangs, or the time I didn’t have my phone for like six hours, or the time I got inspired to turn Maxine into a millennial! […]

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