Which “Friends” Character Are You?

We’re all familiar with that classic sitcom that reflected the height of ’90s comedy – filled with irony, puns, and of course…a laugh track so we all knew when the writers were trying to be funny.

If you grew up watching the iconic show that is “Friends,” you may in fact feel like these characters are more like feel more like “family” than “friends”! But, among these six quirky, lovable, mostly one-dimensional characters, which one do YOU most identify with?

Let’s find out together!

On a Friday night, you can be found…

  1. Shopping
  2. Cleaning
  3. Watching a documentary
  4. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
  5. Doing a whole lot of acid which would explain a lot about a lot
  6. Banging a bunch of women

What kind of people are attracted to you?

  1. Coffee shop owners
  2. Men with thick mustaches
  3. Rachel, when she doesn’t have anyone else
  4. Like pretty much no one
  5. Paul Rudd
  6. Like pretty much everyone

What were you like in high school?

  1. I was a cheerleader and popular because the two obviously go hand in hand
  2. I was fat and unpopular because the two obviously go hand in hand
  3. I was the smartest one in my class
  4. I didn’t have any friends mostly because I used bad comedy to mask my deeper issues
  5. I didn’t go because I was busy living on the streets instead
  6. I never went to class but boy was I popular with the ladies

What kind of food do you eat?

  1. Nothing, I don’t want to gain weight!
  2. Idk I’m a chef so whatever chefs eat
  3. I like this turkey sandwich that my sister makes
  4. I think I was seen eating cereal one time
  5. Not meat, that’s for sure!
  6. Literally anything

Do you like puns?

  1. No
  2. No
  3. No
  4. Yes
  5. No
  6. No

What’s your least favorite thing about your friends?

  1. They don’t constantly think about how pretty I am
  2. Some of them remember when I was fat
  3. They don’t care about fossils
  4. They don’t get my jokes
  5. They don’t believe in my psychic powers
  6. They take up the time where I could be having sex with women

What is your body type?

  1. Abnormally skinny
  2. Abnormally skinny
  3. Sometimes it fluctuates depending on how many drugs I’m on in real life
  4. Average
  5. Regular skinny
  6. Pretty buff I guess

Do you have any children?

  1. Yes, one. Whoopsies!
  2. Yes, I adopted twins
  3. Yes, from two different women
  4. Yes, I adopted twins
  5. Yes, but they’re my brother’s
  6. I’m sure I have a few out there somewhere

Have you ever been married?

  1. Yes, once. Whoopsies!
  2. Yes, because I wanted to have children and I could feel my eggs drying up
  3. Holy crap yes like a bunch of times
  4. Yes, to my best friend and the woman of my dreams
  5. Yes but it was mostly this whole green card situation. Oh and another time after that.
  6. Nah

How do you pick up people of the opposite sex?

  1. Wear shirts that show off my nips
  2. Cook for them
  3. Impress them with my boring intelligence
  4. I don’t.
  5. Write them a song
  6. Ask them “How you doin’?” which somehow works every time

What are your parents like?

  1. Overbearing but rich so it works out overall
  2. Quirky and Jewish
  3. Quirky and Jewish
  4. One is a slut and one is a drag queen
  5. One is dead and one is Bob Balaban
  6. Ummmm Italian?

What is the most exotic person you’ve ever dated?

  1. A hunky Italian
  2. I almost hit on Jean Claude van Damme one time
  3. A Chinese woman. Also an African-American woman because the producers thought it was about time to introduce a black person into the show
  4. Janice
  5. A gay Canadian ice skater
  6. Name a country.

What kind of haircut do you have?

  1. The Rachel
  2. Plain brown but one time I got a horrendous haircut
  4. Its length fluctuates with my weight
  5. It’s blonde and straight but I do a bunch of weird things to it most of the time
  6. I do that thing that every boy did in middle school where I spike up the bangs

How many sexual partners have you had?

  1. A lot but you can’t blame me because I’m hot
  2. Less than most people but that’s because I grew up overweight so I had a late start
  3. Only like three if I’m counting correctly
  4. I’m probably still a virgin
  5. A regular amount including Paul Rudd
  6. So many I’m surprised there’s never been an episode about my inevitable STDs

What kind of pets do you have?

  1. I used to have a pet poodle growing up but it died
  2. Um pets are way too dirty
  3. I used to have a monkey because that was the pinnacle of ‘90s comedy
  4. A chick and a duck
  5. I adopted the rats that live in my apartment
  6. A chick and a duck

What’s your biggest fear?

  1. Getting fat
  2. Getting fat again
  3. Rachel realizing she could do better than me
  4. Rejection
  5. Going back to living on the streets
  6. Someone eating my sandwich

Have you ever gotten fired from a job?

  1. Yes, because I tried to get a job with Gucci which I wasn’t even qualified for in the first place to be honest
  2. Yes, because I stole some really expensive steaks without paying for them
  3. Yes, because I hooked up with a student who was half my age
  4. Yes, because I didn’t want to live in Oklahoma
  5. Yes, because I tried to have sex with a client
  6. Yes, because I’m really bad at what I do

Where is your favorite place to hang out?

  1. A local coffee shop
  2. A local coffee shop
  3. A local coffee shop
  4. A local coffee shop
  5. A local coffee shop
  6. A local coffee shop

Which word does your name rhyme with?

  1. Nothing rhymes with my name ugh
  2. Hanukkah
  3. Boss
  4. Sandler
  5. Geebie
  6. Snowy

Mostly 1’s: You’re Rachel! You came to the Big Apple after dipping out of your own wedding – what a power move! Then you cut yourself off from your daddy’s money – what an even bigger power move! You’re smart, interesting, and sexy even in your most awkward moments. Sure, you ended up giving up your dream job for a man, but hey, we all have flaws. Three cheers for a great name!

Mostly 2’s: You’re Monica! You grew up overweight, which, by all societal standards, should mean you wouldn’t have any sort of success in life. And yet! You scored an impossibly great apartment (thanks, Grandma!), landed a husband (he’s not so bad!) and gained a successful career as a chef (which only makes sense considering your childhood!). It’s all inevitably because you managed to lose all that weight – otherwise who knows where you would (or wouldn’t!) be. Three cheers for being skinny!

Mostly 3’s: You’re Ross! Man, that sucks!

Mostly 4’s: Could you BE any more Chandler? You get through tough situations and repressed emotions through your mediocre humor and low-hanging-fruit jokes. You made dad jokes before dad jokes were even a thing. How innovative! Three cheers for the invention of laugh tracks!

Mostly 5’s: You’re Phoebe! You did a ton of drugs while you were growing up, and now you’re dealing with the ramifications of adulthood on a heavily warped brain. But! You have a job, an apartment, great friends, and you even get to be married to Paul Rudd, so I’d say things turned out pretty well. Three cheers for unlikely resilience!

Mostly 6’s: You’re Joey! You are super dumb but super suave, which is all women really want in a man! You’re not that great at your job as an actor, but you still manage to get by with the occasional gig and the even more occasional side job. Luckily New York women in the ’90s don’t care about money. Or maybe you charge them all, and that’s how you get by. Who knows! Three cheers for sex, and three more cheers for being so successful at it!

One comment

  1. I had to google “What rhymes with Rachel” because I know “facial” isn’t a true rhyme. Literally the first result was that there is only one word that rhymes with Rachel. That word? “Rachael.”

    I loved this quiz almost as much as I love Tom Selleck’s mustache.

Leave a Reply to Bill Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s