Ah, St. Patrick’s Day. Technically it’s the day that Saint Patrick came to Ireland and saved a bunch of people or something. But in reality, we’ve managed to turn this into just another excuse to wear tacky outfits and get really drunk.
When I was younger, I will admit I was part of that population. For me, this holiday used to represent Irish car bombs, whiskey shots, four-leaf clover sunglasses, Guinness, and shirts that said things like, “Kiss My Blarney Stone,” all wrapped up in one day and topped off with lots of green-colored throw up.
Now that I’m in my late 20’s, however, St. Patrick’s Day has started to look a little different.
6:30 a.m. Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
6:40 a.m. Alarm goes off again. Get up.
6:45 a.m. Get in the shower. Get dressed.
6:55 a.m. Leave for job at local independent coffee shop.
7:06 a.m. Arrive at aforementioned local independent coffee shop.
7:10 a.m. Brew and serve coffee for customer while thinking about coffee for yourself.
7:35 a.m. Coffee.
Continue the cycle of brewing, chatting, steaming, and pouring until your shift is over.
3:08 p.m. Grab keys and paycheck. Leave.
3:09 p.m. Drive to the bank.
3:21 p.m. Get to the bank and fill out deposit slip. Hand it to the teller with checks.
3:23 p.m. Smile and make stiff small talk.
3:25 p.m. Get back in your car. Drive to Kroger.
3:34 p.m. Arrive.
3:36 p.m. Pick out groceries. Smile and wave at all those random acquaintances you always run into.
4:23 p.m. Get home to your apartment building. Use your two bags of groceries as an excuse to take the elevator to the second floor instead of using the stairs.
4:27 p.m. Unpack groceries.
4:38 p.m. Go to the gym downstairs.
4:50 p.m. Get home.
4:59 p.m. Take a shower.
5:36 p.m. Make dinner.
6:14 p.m. Clean up dinner and the rest of the kitchen.
6:26 p.m. Vacuum apartment.
6:52 p.m. Turn on TV. Catch up on Netflix.
7:35 p.m. Look at the clock. Say “screw it” and put on pajamas.
8:05 p.m. Roommate comes home. Make small talk about each other’s days. Complain about the president.
8:32 p.m. Turn on bad reality TV.
9:07 p.m. Make popcorn for yourself and your roommate. Continue watching bad reality TV.
10:24 p.m. Look over at roommate. Ask, “Hey, wasn’t today St. Patrick’s Day?”
Hope everyone had a great St. Patrick’s Day. I simply can’t wait for next year.