My New Year’s Resolutions

Now, I know that you’re only supposed to make one or two resolutions each year so as not to overwhelm your daily life. However, I’m an ambitious individual, and there are a lot of things I want to change about my lifestyle. But I think if I take it a day at a time, stay focused, and most importantly, believe in myself, I think I can really be a Better Me in 2016!

  • Incorporate more carbs into my diet
  • Quit this flossing habit I’ve acquired
  • Start smoking cigarettes
  • Put more cheese on everything I eat
  • Don’t jog anymore
  • Stop being on time for work
  • Go out to eat more
  • Enough with the “dressing on the side” thing!
  • Drink more alcohol
  • Stop using my turn signal while driving
  • Gain at least 15lbs by the end of the month
  • Quit volunteering for charities
  • Make as few friends as possible this year
  • Say “your” when I mean “you’re”
  • Eat more red meat
  • Post my opinions about everything on Facebook
  • Never throw anything away ever again
  • Spend less time with my friends and family
  • Ignore people’s birthdays
  • Take more naps
  • Try to sit as much as I can
  • Leave Richmond as infrequently as possible
  • Keep old grudges going, or create new ones
  • Eat more frozen and canned foods
  • Try to make more time for TV on a daily basis
  • Continue paying for my gym membership but stop going as often
  • Increase my caffeine consumption significantly
  • Deplete my savings account by the end of this year
  • Spend more time on social media, particularly judging what other people post
  • Start biting my fingernails
  • Try to incorporate “like” and “um” into my daily vocabulary
  • Read zero books this year
  • Ask my boss for a pay cut
  • Eat at least one chocolate thing at each meal (or for the whole meal)
  • Procrastinate all of these, and future, goals for as long as possible

New Year’s Resolutions can be hard, so wish me luck! I just know your going to be so proud of my achievements!


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