The Productivity of an Unemployed Twenty-Something

Well, I’m back in America. I left my job, apartment, family and friends to go on a nine week trek through seven foreign countries, and now I’m back.

The great thing about traveling through Europe for two months is that I got to travel through Europe for two months. The bad thing about traveling through Europe for two months is that I am now unemployed.

When I first came home to my unemployment, I felt optimistic about all of the things I could get done with this vast amount of free time. I mean…I literally had all the time in the world! (yes Mom and Dad, in between the extensive job-hunting.) There were things I could achieve that I was never able to before due to a previous 40-hour-each-week deterrent. I created a to-do list of prolific ways to fill my newfound free time, optimistic about the new life I was about to lead.

Things I was hoping to accomplish during all of this available time uninterrupted by a job:

– Vacuum my apartment
– Make my bed
– Reorganize my closet
– Donate my old clothes to Goodwill
– Do my laundry
– Uncover my hidden iron and de-wrinkle all of my clothes
– Google if “de-wrinkle” is even a word
– Wash the dishes that my roommate left me
– Meet my neighbors and maybe even bake them cookies
– Learn all of the words to “We Didn’t Start the Fire”
– Read the Lord of the Rings trilogy
– Decide who to vote for in the next election
– Or perhaps start my own campaign
– Relearn cursive
– Relearn the pythagorean theorem
– Complete P90X
– And then become a personal trainer
– Find a job
– Find a second job
– Learn how to play chess
– Figure out how to get Nickelback to stop making albums
– Start a community garden
– Identify all of the constellations
– Go on one of those raw juice detox cleanses
– Knit all of my Christmas gifts
– Learn how to knit
– Solve the hunger crisis
– Join the fight against Wall Street
– Invent a quieter vacuum cleaner
– Write a novel
– Plant a tree
– Learn yoga
– Obtain a boyfriend, marry him, and start a family
– Retire
– Adopt and train one of those puppies that becomes a seeing-eye dog
– Learn how to cook souffle
– Find a cure for cancer

What I have actually accomplished so far during all of this available time uninterrupted by a job:

– Watched reruns of Bob’s Burgers
– Went to happy hour
– At a bunch of fish tacos
– Watched Wanda Sykes’s standup special
– Washed my hair
– Saw a movie
– Ate chili that probably was at least six days expired
– Filled up the gas tank in my car
– Petted a dalmatian puppy outside of the grocery store
– Drank some water
– Mixed with hops, barley and yeast
– Went to Redbox
– Brushed my hair
– Wait, did I already say that?
– Oh, no. I said washed. Okay. Well I’ve done both.
– Scrambled some eggs
– Set my alarm for the next morning
– Went to Taco Bell
– Looked at the vacuum in my apartment and ALMOST contemplated using it
– Called my grandma
– Took a shower
– Made a sandwich
– Went to the gym (well, technically “walked by” it)
– Took a nap
– Then got a good night’s sleep

Hopefully the next two and a half weeks will be just as productive.

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