Phyllis, I Love You.

This….is Phyllis.

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She and I have known each other for a very long time.

We’ve been through a lot of ups, and we’ve been through a lot of downs (remember that mailbox incident, Phyllis? You rear bumper still hasn’t forgiven me for that)

She was born in Japan, and we adopted her at a young age.

I named her Phyllis after this lady:
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Both Phyllises are getting up there in age. Both are on the full-figured side. Both get tired easily and need a refresh fairly frequently ($45 a week, PHYLLIS??). But both are obliging, hospitable, and would never let you down.

Phyllis has loads of great features that I absolutely love about her.

There’s a little drawer made just for my gum.
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And a pocket for the disposal of occasionally chewed gum.
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She has a backseat that’s great for picnics
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A secret compartment for all my treasures!
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She always smells like fresh laundry

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And she even holds a table, which I always forget about, but upon each rediscovery, vow to use it all the time.
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She has airbags to keep me safe

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Because she loves me

 

And a heater that, when it works, keeps me lukewarm

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It’s on full blast Phyllis…pick up the pace a little

 

Yeah, she and I have had loads of good times. Here’s to the years to come, Phyllis.

(Well…months. Realistically.)

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